My quantum life : why did I wrote this blog ?
The idea of leaving a testimony of resilience to my daughter Lena about what I experienced on the night of December 19, 2013 is the origin of this blog. I don’t know how – when she was only 22 months old at the time – she perceived and experienced being separated from her mother without notice for 15 days after the aneurysm break that shook me. I don’t know how she perceived and experienced being immersed in an effervescence marked by both love and fear. I don’t know, and does it really matter ? The essential thing for me and what I dare to hope will be most precious and useful to her is to show her my love while transmitting to her the fruit of my experience.
Resilience comes through awareness
Obviously, this blog has taken me much further than just leaving a testimony. Very early in the writing process, I knew that this could not just be a story to tell Lena. Because what happened to me that night gave me – as Eckhart Tolle calls it – a « glimpse of what presence, awakening or consciousness means » . That was the beginning of my resilience. That night felt like a lifetime. Paradoxically, it was a concentrate of a few seconds, which it took me several months to realize, incorporate and express.
During this period, I discovered Eckhart Tolle’s teaching, which has uncommonly adjusted my perception of life. And more than that, the way I feel life flowing in and around me. Resilience comes through awareness. Eckhart Tolle’s teaching reflects with great accuracy what I experienced on that strange december night. This is why it seemed obvious to me that it should be my first reading grid.
I could have left it at that. But the theme of consciousness inspired me, inhabited me. I wanted to explore it further. I wanted to understand the mystery behind this aneurysm rupture that took place at a time and place that proved so opportune for me. I needed to anchor my change in consciousness. However, I wasn’t trying to rationalize this experience. I just wanted her to have her place as I had experienced it. And, in this way, it offers a highlight of this different order of things to which it invited. An ambitious request, in short. It pushed me to begin research that, against all odds, led me to the world of science.
For a more conscious science
I discovered that science, and especially physics, had something to say about consciousness. At first, I was both intrigued and perplexed by this discovery. For until then, my vision of science was more like this simple thought : consciousness does not seem to be part of scientists’ considerations. Except – perhaps – for quantum physicists.
I remember that in high school, math and physics were my favorite subjects. Today I understand why I never wanted to pursue these two disciplines after my science baccalaureate. I felt, without being able to explain it to myself at the time, that I wasn’t going to find what I was looking for. Because, for me, science – at least as I had been taught or as I perceived it – lacked breath, heart, and meaning. The advantage of not having ventured into this science too far from my aspirations is that I remained available to another way of approaching… science, precisely.
When theory ignores experience
What difference does it make to approach science in relation to consciousness ? When I began writing these pages, I did not think I would ask myself this question. But the more I progressed in my research on consciousness, the more it seemed to me that we were not approaching things in a very coherent way. Despite the abundance of examples and testimonies on altered states of consciousness, which are even more instructive than our ordinary states of consciousness, scientists persist in ignoring them in many disciplines. Thus, they deprive themselves of an inspiring and meaningful light.
I discovered that in the field of physics, our approach is not necessarily better. At least – as I thought at the time – outside quantum physics, insofar as it uses consciousness to explain certain phenomena. But even in this area, everything is not so simple after all. I have been interested in quantum theories for several years and yet it was only after my experience that a fundamental question came to me : how is consciousness really viewed by quantum physicists ? Is it a consciousness detached from mental ? Is it a consciousness of unity and infinity ?
Still, one thing seemed obvious to me even after December 19 : the relationship between physics and consciousness does stop at quantum physics. And for good reason, without unification with Einstein’s physics, consciousness seems somehow « physically » locked up in the world of the infinitely small. In my opinion, this cannot be satisfactory, because the separation created contradicts a vision and an experience of consciousness shared by many people, starting with me.
When experience meets theory
In a seemingly incoherent, meaningless world, a world in which we feel separated from each other, a world governed by our mental, a world where we struggle against the flow of life, I do this impossible experience : to let go and feel that I exist on a larger plane of consciousness, where everything is connected.
To feel this connection vibrate inside me and simultaneously to experience it outside. To feel that there is an underlying order, from which sometimes emerges such a strong resonance between people or events that wonders can happen. A resonance that is at the heart of the theory of unification proposed by the physicist Nassim Haramein.
Although I think personal experience remains the best evidence, I have found remarkable resonance in his theory (see articles on the unified field theory). Better : I understood that what happened to me is neither irrational nor magical, it is simply physics. As he says himself :
« What we consider spiritual or metaphysical is generally physics that we do not yet understand. » 
I don’t remember exactly under what circumstances Nassim Haramein’s theory came to me. When I started my research, I was reading a lot of physics theories. The fact that I am not a physics specialist gave me the advantage of approaching them with an open mind… and the disadvantage of having to spend a lot of time and energy trying to understand them.
For an exploration of consciousness
In general, their authors were trying a worthy quest for unification. Unfortunately, my hope of finding meaning, consciousness, simplicity and coherence in it was dwindling from theory to theory. So, when I discovered the « Connected universe », I just thought : « Ok, let’s go for a new theory ! ». As I went into more detail, I realized that at last consciousness seemed to be a worthy subject for a physicist.
Consciousness is first
Consciousness, coherence, and unification are present in his theory. Nassim Haramein gives us scientific proof that everything is connected. In a simple, elegant and inspiring way. The promise was beautiful :
« All the masters have told us that everything is One, maybe we should try to apply that to physics. » 
The promise has been kept, and the essay transformed. Unity is no longer a concept in his theory, just as it is no longer a belief in my experience.
Nassim Haramein’s statement may seem completely out of place in the mouth of a physicist. But the fact is that Nassim Haramein is a nonconformist physicist. Probably because his mind is more shaped by nature than by academic studies and degrees in physics.
He learned physics by himself in the evenings when he worked as a ski or diving instructor during the day. Then all day long, in his van, when he left everything to devote himself to it. He has been practicing meditation since the age of 11, he has touched states of expanded consciousness, where everything is interdependent and connected. And far from leaving his personal experience aside, he starts from this experience to approach science. And it brings consciousness to the heart of physics (see also the article Who is Nassim Haramein ? for a little more academic information ;)).
Rather than considering esoteric, philosophical and scientific approaches as separate from each other, I preferred to pool the information gathered in an attempt to get a broader view of things. This is in line with my conception of life, where everything is connected and interdependent.
Consciousness is the way
Therefore, this testimony of resilience and this research should be taken simply for what they are : an exploration, an investigation and a connection of different points of view. Like many projectors with different filters that light my experience. My only selection criterion, and so the only reason for their presence in these pages, was that this information resonates with what I have experienced and what I feel to be true. It was simply a matter of observing what mirrored my experience, what made sense, and what was useful for me to continue on my way.
This approach can be seen as a purely subjective view of things. Which, in fact, seems to take us away from science. No doubt this is the vision of many scientists. They would probably benefit from listening to philosophers :
« The more subjectivity you allow for, the more objective description you can achieve. » 
This is what the French philosopher of science Michel Bitbol teaches us. And this is the path I invite you to follow with me. Because as we will discover on this blog, before having a more accurate perception of life, I believe we still have a long way to go.
Your journey can start here.
You can get into the experience that kept me busy that night by reading My story.
Notes and references
 TOLLE Eckhart, Quiétude, Québec : Ariane Editions, 2003, p.18, free translation
 HARAMEIN Nassim, quoted by Resonance Science Foundation
 HARAMEIN Nassim. (september 25, 2013). Nassim Haramein Complete [Podcast]
 BITBOL Michel, De l’intérieur du monde. Pour une philosophie et une science des relations, Paris : Flammarion, 2010, quoted by NEXUS n°70, september-october 2010, p.37, free translation